In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. This one is how condescending people manage to say they are sorry. Well, you are just looking out for him, right? Even if a woman can handle something on her man, a man still wants to play Prince Charming and swoop in to save the day. Because guys always like to be heroes, statements that make him feel less than a hero are what they never want to hear. Bitch is an insult to women, whether she is your boss, girlfriend, sister, or friend. And the loudest voice is my own. Doble hijueputa: Double son of a bitch. Yeah, he knows, and it's genetics, so don't rub it on his face all the time. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. I am interested in your comments to Julie I may be in a similar situation now!!! 13. 53 Words to Describe Hurt Feelings Invalidated Chastised Invisible Ridiculed Screwed Wronged Abased Punched Humiliated Squashed Burned Blamed Annihilated Rebuffed Brutalized Bushwhacked Laughed at Agonized Heart-broken Disrespected Victimized Insulted Jilted Cheated Devalued Forgotten Intimidated Neglected Defeated Persecuted Put down Oppressed 67. This tool could provide the answers. She has a small view of the world and doesnt accept ideas outside that view. It makes people feel worse because they realize we don't actually care about them! Its even more painful when it comes from someone you care about. It sounds like you are telling him you desire someone else. Eight years later and I remember it just like it was yesterday. I am left feeling guilty because I didnt like him when he died, but that makes me feel so bad. The thing about words (especially harmful ones), is that they seldom stay with the speaker. You have to make more money, or I might leave. Too bad to use on a person at all, let alone loosely. High and low periods are common to all humans, so there's no point pulling someone down with mean words, especially when they're trying their best. He tries to challenge you, even when its not necessary. "I may not be perfect, but at least I'm not you.". Imagine someone youre dating comes up to you and tells you this? Others can feel that and will oblige. Friends say some things that hurt each others feelings when upset, or use foul language more when they want their words to sting. He doesnt tidy up and leaves a mess everywhere. Ive had some wonderful counsellors who have made such a difference to my life. Generally people like to ignore feelings and pretend they dont exist. Dismissed. Performance & security by Cloudflare. Confused could be another word. She pretends to be your friend, then shell stab you in the back (do something bad to you after youve started trusting her). You can help them get better at looking good instead of rubbing it in their face that they don't dress well. People change when they get ready. One of the negative things you could say to a person that may affect them even after you call it quits is telling them they are not attractive anymore. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. While it's okay to stand your ground when your partner is forceful, hearing these words frequently could also mean you don't want to be a team player. The entitlement mentality isn't attractive at all. "Telling someone that their reaction is 'too' anything almost never helps.". We have all been there. Rejected is how I feel. 5. Its just as bad when you come right out and say it. Excellent material to assist volunteer telephone crisis counselors another target audience maybe. Unless it's too small, even your eyes can't notice it. It was a complete 180 on how I was raised. Research shows that men like to be the hero in their relationship. This statement is more like writing off a person. Big deal, that doesn't mean you have to emasculate him. Acknowledging that they try but will never be enough nonetheless makes it even harder to hear. I hear you, ditto. There's almost nothing more hurtful than when the person you love the most doesnt believe what you say. It is very important to choose your words, situation and person all very carefully when expressing feelings. Studying the vast and complicated world of relationships entices me, and I am constantly striving to learn more, so I can then help others with more knowledge and experience. 7. 27. But first, I need to share with you an incredibly useful discovery that could help a woman in your situation. Maybe you should let this one stay in your imagination. Shes very fussy and wants everything to be the way. Dear Melissa, please read my book, Running On Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships. Calling a girl a freak either suggests that shes physically deformed or so obsessed with something it looks like an addiction. You used to look handsome in the past. Hi Jonice, It's meant to make them look like they are disturbing nobodies. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. How To Deal With A Girl Who Doesn't Know What She Wants? But sometimes frustrating behaviors can push even the most loving parents to say things we quickly regret. Please include what you were doing when this page came up and the Cloudflare Ray ID found at the bottom of this page. Perhaps you don't want to date a guy, it's okay to simply let him know. (11 Possible Meanings). The inciting incident, which will kick off the . You are not only saying"I don't want you anymore," but also "nobody will want you.". " Just talk about your son whenever you feel like.". 81. 36 Romantic . I am so stuck I just dont want to continue. Maybe you'll find your brain back there. In whatever way you have been a positive contribution to your partner's life, you don't have to be mean when displaying a God complex. Ouch. If the height of your compliment for a woman is always that shes ok (read: average), youre already doing a good job of hurting her. It's a good thing I came with my sex toy. Despite what our parents told us (and despite what we tell our students), words do have the power to hurt! Some men can be very guarded and closed when it comes to expressing how they feel - it can almost feel like they are pulling away from you and leaves you wondering whether he's actually into you. Thank you for sharing! Erased. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think. Its an online background check and tracker tool. Please share it! Are you sure these condoms aren't too big for you? Lol, You dont know what youre talking about., "You're going to make some guy very lucky one day. As I can remember, my father was absent most of the time in my childhood. In most cases, its better to let things go and move on with your life. In my opinion, it's better to stumble over our words or say something awkward while being . It's not a nice thing to say. Do you have a word for hurt that is missing? There are millions of ways to encourage your man to do his own thing and not be all over you every time. We provide resources that help you in your relationship, marriage, and dating life. By recognising this I have identified that I also punish and wound, something I try hard not to do or, try to change how I word things to make them less wounding or punishing. For example, you might breathe in deeply through your nose and mentally say, "I breathe in self-confidence and faith." Hold the breath for a few seconds. I hope it is safe to post here as I would not want any of my family to see this but my Mother has a sharp, critical tongue. Both instances hurt. If your partner's friends aren't deliberately making you uncomfortable, these words are uncalled for. "Someone like him," that sounds like there is something wrong with him, making him "undateable." After trying to diplomatically respond and be careful not to give them the impression they are being hurtful, its become clearer its more about Im entitled to this information, and I dont care about what I have to do to get it. Im quite sure you deserve far better, and even special care and loving treatment above others because of what you have been through. I'll take all you own if you divorce me. Throwing it at his face all the time can be damaging to both his success and feelings. That's like making him feel he doesn't have the initiative like your ex. Judged. Frustrated. If you mean to suggest that she has never done anything right before, this phrase covers it. Keep up the good work. I guess it doesnt come as much of a surprise then that negative words dominate language instead of positive statements or things. synonyms for hurtful Compare Synonyms damaging dangerous destructive detrimental distressing harmful malicious nasty pernicious prejudicial unkind upsetting aching afflictive bad cutting deadly deleterious disadvantageous evil hurting mean mischievous nocuous noxious ominous poisonous spiteful wounding See also synonyms for: unhurtful Also invisible and squelched which are on your list. You even sound like you are putting your partner under unnecessary pressure to please you. This is offensive because it totally dismisses the reason for the drama and just aims to make her feel bad. Not seeing any advantage of discussing a matter with a guy means he's completely insignificant. Traduced is a great word, Elizabeth. And I also understand her obsession with my weight. Trust me, it's a punch at your man's ego, unsupportive, and altogether insensitive. This comment is another punch at the ego. 61. "You're such a drama queen." 10. Im writing to ask for advice. 82. A direct and cold way of saying, "I'm not going to apologize, so what are you going to do about it?". Probably you, or your kind, but try asking anyway. 93. The but invalidates the apology, and that hurts because youre obviously not sorry. Theres nothing constructive in telling a girl shes gained weight in a manner that blunt. Youre essentially saying she isnt good enough for you anymore. If youre going to come at a guy with these hurtful words, theres every chance hell come at you twice as hard. Defeated. However, when you go for the "jugular" just because you want to get back at him, that's pretty mean and low. Now imagine saying, I felt chastised. The difference may seem small, but it is significant. Here's another quick back-to-school activity I do to build community the first week of school--a lesson on hurtful vs. helpful words. It's simply about sharing feelings in order to make up and get better. _dadbod: My cousins don't think this a swear word and they say it a lot, especially Novayah. "I want a break up/divorce" Well, in a relationship/marriage, all is not roses. Now, making your man feel terrible for your bad action, that's an advanced level of being mean. There's almost no other statement that could sting the heart sharper than "I don't love you anymore." 1. There are millions of ways to tell a guy the sex wasn't all that great. Heres the link: https://blogs.psychcentral.com/childhood-neglect/2016/03/5-reasons-forgiveness-does-not-work/. "Grief has no expiration date.". What's more, the comment subtly brings his parents into it. Like a dagger to the heart, yes, words hurt. Some relationships may not last forever, even after you promise each other the "till death do us part" love." Both should be OK things to do! Hi Sarah, this is one of my favorite blogs. This is for the haters who constantly put you down like they are perfect or something even if they obviously aren't. 2. Guys don't like to feel like they are beneath their girl. Quite similar to the above. 8 Love never fails. "You're too sensitive.". If you are dating him, I bet it'll take many apologies to get him on the same page with you. It probably can't get meaner. lack, lackadaisical, lacked, lackey, lackeys, lacking, lackluster, lacks, laconic, lag, lagged, lagging, lags, laid-off, lambast, lambaste, lame, lame-duck, lament, lamentable, lamentably, languid, languish, languor, languorous, languorously, lanky, lapse, lapsed, lapses, lascivious, last-ditch, latency, laughable, laughably, laughingstock, Acknowledge their pain and empathize with them. It's very mean to make your partner feel like he's a reminder of your past painful experience. Could you add scapegoated to that list too? When we have a conflict with our spouse, our boss, kids, or even a conflict in a church situation, it's much easier to cast blame and assume that theproblem is the other person. Dear Kira, it is your responsibility to put your own needs first, above everyone elses. This one is mean on levels. You might have said it because it's genuinely not a good time to discuss the issue. It deserves to be in the top 5. When you say that in a conversation, that's a message that he's a far cry from what you expect from a man. Shes not sophisticated. When emotions are seldom discussed in your childhood it is difficult to absorb and learn the thousands of words in the English language that describe emotions. If you liked this article, kindly leave a comment and share it with others. Trust me, it's a punch at your man's ego, unsupportive, and altogether insensitive. Gonorrea: Means "gonorrhea", but used to refer to someone or something extremely unlikeable. It's mean to react to his action with such an insensitive and condescending comment. I feel like Im such a horrible person. Wow, this is offensive. Sometimes, people simply don't know how to communicate.They lack the appropriate tools to offer emotional intimacy, respect, and recognition. Saying they won't amount to anything without you is unnecessary. Adult: You are concentrating hard and don't want anyone to knock it over. The following are some hurtful words you should avoid saying to people: wimp, whore, slut, gay, dyke, retarded, stupid, dumb, try-hard, useless, worthless, midget, weirdo, etc. Dont tell her to eat more unless youre deliberately trying to be an ass. She still gets angry about things that happened a long time ago. Welcome! There's a reason or reasons why you are not with your ex anymore. He told me I was bad and I genuinely believe he was right all those years ago. Does such a list exist, or did I imagine it? Keep working on it! I hope you find what you're looking for. Another . This word implies that she isnt good enough to be where she is. Though feminists own this narrative, some people still get off on calling women bitter when they arent being a sweetie.. Growing up with your emotions ignored has some very specific effects on your entire adult life. I feel that I am defective, forsaken, disowned, ostracized and that my sheer existence is regretted. Of course, he'll feel hurt. Its just a possibility I wanted to mention for you to think about. So, if the sex isn't lousy, there's no point in making a comparison about the size. Sigh. Using almost every opportunity to make your partner feel like he has to compete to please you is terrible. They're the kind of people who talk without thinking and hurt others without realizing (at least most of the time). And a Narcissist with a capitol, N. My life is comparable to Christinas in the film, Mommie Dearest. I felt so validated seeing that film. Next time you feel something painful, look through this list to see which word seems to best describe what you are feeling. This is one of those words we use without even knowing their effect on the recipient. "This makes me want to kill myself." 11. E.g., you can't amount to anything; you can't even make me orgasm, be a man for once. Bugodi21: If you were anymore inbred you would be a sandwich. You'll not only judge him with an impaired view; you'll end up hurting and pushing him away. You might think you are being yourself when you use these lines, but this is something people do when they don't want to reach a compromise. It could make your partner feel less loved. Weve become very close friends these past years, and Im even going to be one of her bridesmaids, so I also feel guilty for my anger and my feelings in general. So, you are the breadwinner of the home, but it feels like your partner hasn't quite gotten his rhythm with his sales and commission job. Rejecting him by making it about his financial position is not only rude, but it also puts you in a bad place. I know that I have to forgive her for my own sanity. Here are a few of the most hurtful things you can say to your partner - take advice from Aunty Alyce and don't use any of them. underrated, disrespected, expelled, excommunicated. Just invite them to share their feelings . Lip service isn't comforting. I realize I was fortunate and did not experience this, but I do believe that gaslighting or I was gaslit should be added to the list, esp since it now seems to be common in the modern vernacular. If you have a guy that helps around the house, try not to be a know-it-all by always making his effort or style look wrong just because it's not your way of doing things. Thanks for helping me clearing up my thoughts of childhood past. There are good experienced counsellors out there. Gaslighting is so terrible that experts call it a form of emotional abuse. I'm not a proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one." These are mean and degrading things to say to someone.They want to make them feel better. When you drop it this way, it looks like there are no doubts any moreno longer room for trial or couples counseling. Perhaps you've got a clumsy guy for a boyfriend or husband; still, blaming him all the time for every happening in your relationship is not the best way to go. We all deserve some respect from our partners. When we are very upset, we sometimes say things to hurt the other person's feelings. Young people on the autism spectrum may experience difficulty understanding the social consequences of their words and actions. In fact, the most successful people in the world had experienced failures before they got their big breaks. I would sum those things up as the old adage children are to be seen but not heard. Her jokes are often sexual and rude. My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. There could be times you are not feeling the vibe. People can tell if we are just paying them lip service. She has strong beliefs and doesnt accept any view outside those beliefs. 1 Nobody likes you A kid told me this in first grade in front of the teacher. Whatever, really? Calling someone too tall because shes female is a bad move. My mum didnt include me in any of the funeral arrangements, she hasnt asked me how I am doing, yet have been there every step of the way for her. Please keep working on doing that. The key: be open. Sending lots of love and compassion, you deserve it. I actually kind of hate myself for even writing the words. Just leave your ex out of it. Keep rolling your eyes. He doesnt care enough about things, so he can often lose or break them. Tell your man how you need him to be. Thank you! The jokes on you, though, because shell get over the heartache you cause and find out that shes all that and more. Even if your presence somehow contributed to his current great status. . Trust me; you are the last person he wants to hear it from that he's losing his hair and perhaps becoming less attractive. 1. It may seem, at times, like someone who is depressed is very preoccupied with their own life (or, more specifically, their own thoughts) but that doesn't make them selfish. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. It makes me feel guilty that I couldnt show him compassion just because they have never shown me any. Your past lover isn't psychic, and your current boyfriend can't be too, so quit throwing your ex's prowess on your boyfriend's face, it's not pretty. Working through alternatives!!! You sometimes remind me of a past I hate. If you had even the faintest idea of how damaging these four words can be, you wouldnt use them. Did you ever start the relationship with a "manage memo?" This statement shouldn't go out from you to someone you are dating. But this comment might make him feel like you don't like his look. Making your partner feel they are not good enough for you or that you could do better than them. This one will hurt any guy like a knife, especially if he's into you. If it's frequent, you are sending a wrong message into the heart of the receiver. If you told him that youd just been invited to Tom Cruises space station party on the moon, hed believe you. Aro769: Anyone who ever loved you was wrong. I was lost, confused, infuriated, self-doubting, conflicted, torn, smothered, ignored and never allowed to give voice to how any of this made me feel. Perhaps, this one came out of your mouth because you expect more from your husband or boyfriend. 14. But using these words means you can't see any good about his presence in the relationship. If the hurtful words spoken to you were in retaliation for something unwarranted that you said or did to hurt the person, a heartfelt apology including an admission to what you are guilty of may help mend your relationship or, at the very least, it may help the other person begin to heal. No one enjoys being called dumb, but it not only hurts a girl more coming from a person she likes, it also stays with her for a long time. With this tool, you can connect to the personal devices of your friends and family to snoop on who theyve been communicating with. Childhood Emotional Neglect: Happens when your parents do not address, validate, or talk about emotions enough as they raise you. Nevertheless, people who intentionally choose to hurt another person with their choice of words know the exact impact its going to have. thank you for this list. Use with caution.