shirt: j crew (old) // fleece: dudley stephens (worth every penny) // jeans: frame // shoes: adidas // bag: chloe // sunglasses: warby parker // necklace: maya brenner // ring: david yurman // bracelets: david yurman (here, here and here)
If you’ve followed along with my pregnancies, you may remember I have a large uterine fibroid. It’s now been over two years since Sybil was born. That damn fibroid is something I think about every single day. I thought it was high time I shared an update with you.
Six years ago when I was freezing my eggs I found out I had a uterine fibroid. No one seemed too concerned about it, so I wasn’t either.
The following year I had a consultation with a doctor. He recommended I have the fibroid removed. Because of the size and location of the fibroid, I would have missed 1-2 weeks of work and take 6 weeks off of working out. I was in the midst of training for a marathon and thought no way.
Then I got pregnant with Lawson in July 2014. That seemingly no big deal fibroid mushroomed into a 20cm mass growing right along with our baby boy.
Large fibroids of the size I had are not that common during pregnancy. My doctors all found it so fascinating. I was mostly worried about the health of our baby and the additional risks. I searched the internet, but there wasn’t (and still isn’t) much information about pregnancy and large fibroids.
Thankfully I delivered a healthy baby boy (his birth story). With the loss of added hormones, at six months postpartum the fibroid had shrunk in size to 8cm, which was the same size it was before I got pregnant.
Lo and behold, within another two months I was pregnant again. Again, the fibroid quickly grew to 20cm. Another healthy pregnancy and delivery. At six months postpartum, my fibroid had shrunk again to its pre-pregnancy size.
At my annual exam in October, the doctor told me my uterus measures as if I’m 20 weeks pregnant (the fundal height). No wonder why I can’t get rid of that pouch! An ultrasound the following month measured the fibroid at 10cm. Because of the size, the technician said there may be smaller fibroids growing off of it. Eww.
It is also starting to calcify. I have no idea why it grew slightly over the past 18 months. The thought of something inside my body calcifying is more than slightly mortifying. But so is the thought of something 10cm inside of me. It’s all so strange.
I have a consultation with a surgeon at the beginning of January. While there may be different options, my best guess is that the surgeon will recommend a hysterectomy.
I’m working on coming to terms with a hysterectomy. While Jim and I are in complete agreement that our family is perfect the way it is, it’s a mental hurdle to cross it off forever. (I had a tubal ligation when Sybil was born, but I still have frozen eggs and could in theory carry another child.)
Plus, it seems strange to remove my uterus. One of the doctors said I should look at it like tonsils or wisdom teeth. My uterus has done its job. I don’t need it anymore. But I have all these questions. What will it feel like when it’s gone? What happens to that space in my body?
In addition to resolving my fibroid, I’ve considered getting an abdominoplasty (tummy tuck). While I’ve lost all the baby weight, I have lose skin from two large pregnancies. I expect it would be even worse once the fibroid is removed. (My post-pregnancy body image is another post for another day.)
It would be great to have both surgeries at the same time. A lot of doctors don’t want to do them both so that’s one of my questions for the surgeon next month.
If you or anyone you know has had a hysterectomy or a tummy tuck, I’d love to hear your experience. Are you happy with your decision? What was the recovery like? The reality is I’m scared of any surgery, let alone two major surgeries at the same time.
photo by the lovely ana of rosemary & rye